The Part of Work We Don’t Talk About Enough

Here is what I want to name up front (hi, Mere here). People come to this newsletter from all kinds of work structures. Some of you own your business. Some of you work hourly. Some of you are in salaried roles where taking time away depends on someone else's approval. Some of you have never had the privilege of choosing space at all. I spent most of my life in hourly roles where taking time came with guilt, pressure, and/or consequences. That included bereavement, recovering from surgery, and even being sick. Now I live on the business owner side, where stepping back carries a completely different mental, emotional, and financial load. Both ends of that spectrum shape how uncomfortable it can feel to take space. And stating this is very important to me because this newsletter is for coaches and for clients. It is for anyone who has felt tension around creating space, even when it is planned, earned, or clearly stated in an agreement.

Your brain says take the space.

Your heart says stay available.

The result is a weird limbo that does not get talked about enough in this industry or any industry.

And for me, that feeling is tied not just to loving my work, but to the imprint of the years I spent being made to feel guilty for taking time I was allowed. That conditioning sits deep.

So when I talk about creating space or taking time, I am not talking from a pedestal. I am talking from lived experience on both ends of the spectrum.

Now, on to the part that sparked all this.

I hit this internal negotiation while trying to finalize my holiday schedule. On paper, it was simple. Step away on the 25th. Come back on the 26th. Step away again. Then I actually sat with that plan and realized how ridiculous the back and forth felt to me and arguably my clients would be scratching their heads also ha ha. Why is it so complicated to take a few days away from direct client work?

Part of it is simple! I love my work. I love coaching. I love hearing from my clients. I love hearing the wins, the small things that light them up and light me up. I love supporting them in the messy middle of behavior changes, the problem solving, the relationship building, the education. I even love the spreadsheets ha ha. There are many parts of this job and I enjoy more of them than any normal person probably should #guilty !

But here is the real tension. 

Sarah and I want to model trust…we believe all coaches should want to model trust. We want our clients to believe in their capacity. We want them to see their progress as something they own, not something they borrow from us. And ironically the hardest thing for many coaches is to step back long enough to let that be proven true.

While I was deciding whether to log back in on the 26th even though it is written in our Terms of Service that we have that day, I had to pause and ask myself, ‘was I stepping in out of habit or reflex instead of genuine necessity? ‘

A good coaching relationship is built on support.
A great coaching relationship is built on support plus autonomy.
That is one of our roots at Fortify Health Coaching.

Clients need space to practice the skills they have been building. They need room to see that their habits still hold when their coach is not available at that exact moment they hit a question or a wobble. 

And when I asked myself that question, I realized my clients are fine. They are great in fact and I actually started laughing because they put fire in my heart and soul with how mighty they are. We work on these things year round. When they have a special work dinner. When there is a birthday. When they travel. We practice this all damn year. This specific December and January window is no different. So why does it bring so much pressure and pause?

This is confidence.

Coaches talk about resilience all the damn time. We want clients to be resilient. We want them to course correct. We want them to choose aligned actions even when life gets loud. Here is the twist. Sometimes the way a coach supports resilience may mean they need to get out of the way for a minute. This is actually something that several clients have commented on regarding health decisions… I do not ‘tell’ them what to do. I do support them in making a decision that aligns with them… I got out of the way!

Time away from direct client work is not a lack of care. It is not a lack of investment. It is a sign that you believe in the work you and your client have already done.

And if you are a coach reading this, you already know the other layer. Our industry often runs on scarcity and reactivity. Scarcity around clients. Scarcity around attention. Scarcity around results. Many coaches feel pressure to be hyper available because they think availability equals value.

That it is narrative, not a full one, and it most certainly doesn’t need to be yours

What clients actually want is clarity, communication, education, and consistency. They want a coach who shows up well. Someone who models behaviors. Someone who can step away, create space, have relationships, and still support people intentionally. Someone who teaches from lived practice, not frantic availability and not from the martyr mindset that performs struggle as proof of value

Being available at every hour, within seconds to minutes, is not leadership. It is insecurity in a nicer outfit.

Creating space and time gives your nervous system room to settle.
It gives your brain space to think creatively and clearly instead of reactively.
It gives you perspective on client patterns.
It lets you return with energy and presence.

Clients feel the difference. They know when their coach is sharp, grounded, and attentive. They also know when their coach is overloaded and stretched thin. We ARE human (sigh). It does happen. It is okay if clients get a small window into that sometimes. But the next move is yours…. Keep spreading yourself thin or look in the damn mirror and handle business. Boundaries are not barriers. They are structure that keep all of us effective.

If you are a client reading this, take this as a reminder that time away is part of how a coach stays well, stays good at their job, just like you. You do not lose support. You gain a coach who is operating from a full tank instead of fumes. You also get a chance to see that the work you have done this year is yours. You earned it.

If you are a coach reading this, take this as a nudge to examine the reflex to stay hyper vigilant or hyper available. Ask yourself whether the urgency is coming from your clients or from your own fear of being replaceable. Then ask, are you modeling what you are suggesting? There is power in naming that. There is even more power in choosing a different pattern.

Time away is not a threat to your value. It is evidence that you not only model what you suggest but you trust your capacity, your clients and the work you have built.

If you are a coach who wants deeper support in your systems, your communication, or your confidence, our group mentorship is open. And if you are a client who feels like you are losing momentum or you want clarity on your next steps, we are currently booking 2026 1:1 professional strategy sessions. Both options are here to support your direction in a way that fits your real life and goals. Reach out for more information! 

Mere & Sarah